Disappointments 

No biggy really it’s not like my worlds gonna end, but sometimes when you have been totally honest with yourself and done all that you can do to make something happen and it doesn’t it’s disappointing. That’s where I find myself tonight. I’m a Slimming World member. Bingeing is part of my make up, food drink excitement the OC behaviours I mentioned in my last ( second from last) post. SW gives me boundaries. I try hard to stick to them. I get an allowance of ‘syns’ for those unhealthy life choices such as sugar fat and alcohol. Most weeks I stick like glue to my 105 syns a week or 15 a day. If I have a few extra at the weekend I still have some flexibility to have some treats in the week too. So when I had stuck 💯% to my plan and lost not 1oz of weight it makes me disappointed. Over Christmas week I lost 2lbs how can that be?!? On holiday in Spain I gained 4lbs totally knew why I ate and drank more than I would usually I had little control over the food and how it was prepared but I did have choices regarding the drink. I chose unwisely but that was ok. Now this week being on plan not lying ( to myself)  about even 1 syn to have maintained was a total shock! I post most my food every day on Instagram so my consultant sees what I eat, even he can’t figure it out! If I was a secret food eater or drinker I would know in my heart how it had gone wrong! If I’d gone wildly over my syn allowance I would know why! I know this might be boring to read and I apologise but it’s bugging me and I wanted to get it out there! Out of my head so I don’t waste hours ruminating about it. No doubt I’ve done something wrong but can’t work it out just yet! Maybe not enough water but I did drink gallons of green tea ☕️. Well that’s it I will try not to think about it and put it to bed, where I’m going to go myself! 

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