Today has been one of them weird days. I received a txt from one of the fellowship saying that her partner had lost her fight with addiction. She sadly overdosed at the weekend. It hit me hard. Because all of us that are affected by another’s drug addiction are only one call or txt away from being in the same situation. What do you say to someone in that predicament? It’s the one thing we all dread. The arrests, the prison sentences, even the rattles or the fear that a drug dealer owed money will do something to them, are just that fears, but the big one is death. She is at peace her fight with addiction is over but her partner is left to pick up the pieces. To grieve, to arrange a funeral, to answer questions, to cover up, even in death those of us left still lie still feel the need to cover up, to protect them. We may feel ashamed, feel we somehow failed, and yet we didn’t. It was not is not our illness – disease – it is theirs. We can’t take on the responsibilities of another. We can not blame ourselves as there was/is nothing we can do only they can do it if they are ever ready. This young woman was not. She paid the ultimate price for a disease that cares not about either the addict or those affected.
So tonight I ask my HP and the HP of L (the one left behind)to take care of L. Don’t let this destroy this beautiful young woman. Let her know this is not her fault. It was never her fault. She was never responsible for her girlfriend’s addiction, as none of us are. My love goes out to you tonight L, may you too find some peace in this terrible time.
I ask my HP to protect all of us from having to experience this, but if we do go through this ultimate hurt, to find the strength to remember that we need to accept the things we can not change find courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference then and only then we might find some serenity.