Since joining my fellowship I have learnt that I can’t do the steps in 12 days 12 months even who knows 12 years! I wanted quick fix answers to a problem that I thought was mine to fix! Then I came to understand that actually it wasn’t mine to fix and i couldn’t fix it even if I knew how to. Giving it over to my HP meant I could actually focus on things i could fix – me!
when I started the work I never thought I would ever get my head around it, but what kept me coming back was hearing others sharing their experiences strength and hope and thought if it works for them maybe it could work for me too? And now? Well it’s me sharing my experience of how I have changed my focus, set my boundaries ( which still get bent at times!) and have given the job of fixing to a power greater than me. Sometimes I read a blog that I follow and think wow yes I can totally relate to that! It might be from a recovering addict a using addict, and I think you know what? our situations aren’t all that different, we might be on opposite sides of the addiction spectrum in as much as I was focusing on the affect living with someone else’s addiction as apposed to fighting the/living in addiction but we are all fighting every day to follow a new way of life, putting our trust in a higher power and hopefully getting strength and hope from our fellowships and the love we receive there.
I am going to try to find more time to start writing again, not to gossip about what is going on in my life right now with my qualifier (K) but to put the spotlight on me again to look at what I achieved.. Time will tell I guess!