Self improvement 

self improvement takes many forms. Physical spiritual emotional educational….through my programme I am learning the spiritual side. I struggle. I have never been a big believer in God. I know my HP doesn’t have to be God, addiction doesn’t discriminate, religious beliefs play no part. So what do I believe in I wonder? Give my self over to my HP? Mmmm until I know what that is I don’t think I can. That is a work in progress for sure! 

Since stopping smoking a year last October and since living by myself and having money to eat I have put weight on. He used to laugh about us being on the Cracktins diet. I wasn’t but had no money for food so lost about 2 stone. That has gone back on and some extra. I don’t like being at this weight, but I comfort ate and had been drinking most nights, not getting drunk but a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of beers, and because my excerise regime has been zero couldn’t carry on without it having an effect. So the drinking stopped, for the most part, unless I am with company at the weekends and today I joined weight watchers, I think it’s about control! No I know it’s about control. If I am not happy about how I look then I don’t care about myself. It affects my mental wellbeing I get depressed, more depressed. So summer is coming and I am not going to be a big fat blob sat under a kaftan! I might not be young but I can still take care of myself and look my best. I won’t take second best again. For myself or in another.  PMA all the way! 

Have a great weekend keep safe 

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