Nearly caught up!

So I went to see the police and made a statement, I felt ashamed, I felt ashamed because here I was a professional middle aged woman having to tell the police my boyfriend was a drugs addict and had stolen from me, that I had allowed this to happen, that I so wanted him in my life I accepted all the abuse and now things weren’t going so well I went to the police and was grassing him up. I was ashamed at what the police would think of me. This is I suppose what he was banking on, the fact I loved him and that I would be too embrasrassed to tell the police. But something this time had changed. I don’t know if it was my HP I don’t know if the way he had scared me a couple of days before, but I didn’t want him to get away with it. I wanted him to understand that he couldn’t treat me like a door mat, that he couldn’t just steal from me and I wouldn’t say anything. In all honesty the police were very supportive. They took a statement but because he was out of county they had to pass it over to Cheshire police. They said they would probably arrest him and bring him back to Morecambe to interview him. My heart sank. Not because they were going to arrest him, but if they brought him back up here interviewed him and released him, I knew exactly where he would go from the police station….here! I was worried, he would come here because 1 he wouldn’t have any money to get back home but 2 would probably want to have a go at me or at least try to convince me to take him home and give him money and I would probably feel obliged! I didn’t want anything more to do with him or at least tried to convince myself I didn’t want anything to do with him.

I didn’t say anything to the police, and went home.

When I found out that the iPad had been stolen I txt him to say that that was enough, that his behaviour was unforgivable and that was telling the police. Of course he never responded but he did know.

about 2 weeks later the police phoned me. Did I know where he was? He wasn’t at home had I had contact with him? No I haven’t. Well be sure to tell us if you do… Yes but I don’t think I will hear from him!

Youre not back together are you? No of course not. Well we have to ask. Yeah well don’t worry there’s no chance of that. Good.

it was a few more weeks before I got another call he had been arrested, they had decided to interview him in Cheshire so that he wasn’t tempted to come to mine. Well that was a relief, but he would be bailed to Lancaster court. They gave me the date. Well I don’t suppose he will turn up if he has to get to Lancaster I say….well he will just be re-arrested if he doesn’t show.

I wanted to go to court I wanted him to see that I could stand up to him that I wasn’t scared of him. I wanted to see him…

A couple of weeks before the court date I got a txt thanks very much karen Why you tell the police on me? Because you have to take responsibility for your actions…you said you NEVER stole from those you cared about but you stole from me, I know I am sorry tell the police to drop the case.

No I can’t and even if I did they would proceed.

i’ll plead not guilty then they will have to have a trial and then you will have to give evidence and it’s just a domestic…

Then so be it, but I will be telling the truth you stole from me but not only that you were horrible to me I was scared of you and had my iPad all the time!

Look you are going to have to tell them to drop it I ain’t going to court.

No and that’s your choice they will just issue a warrant.

He called me…I answered,

I can’t go I am ill….

then get a doctors note

i can’t get into the doctors til the Thursday ( court was Wednesday)

K not my problem….but I find that hard to believe.

Well you will have to pick me up!

What? Are you mad? So this is why you have called now you want a lift?

I couldn’t call before bail conditions say can’t have contact with you so if you want me to go to court you will have to pick me up.

i don’t really know where my head was at! I wanted him to get to court so I didn’t have this hanging over me any more, but pick him up! But my master had spoken hadn’t he and because I was still so in love with him and wanted to see him ( in any circumstances) I agreed.

I had a job in the area in the morning of court so agreed to come down the night before and for him to come with me to my job and then take him to court. I don’t know now what I was thinking. I didn’t think for a minute he would want to get back with me. He was in breach of his community service order so he was looking at 2 months inside it was the 26tth November so even with only serving half he would be in at Christmas. But he seemed ok about it, said he could get off the drugs and thanked me!

The mind of an addict who’d have thought! I didn’t know what to think. I was still so wrapped up in my feelings for him I wasn’t looking at the whole picture. He was behaving as though we were together. He had told the probation officer that I was there and supporting him. He didn’t say he was sorry. In fact now with hindsight I think because he wanted a break from the drugs he saw it as respite. 4 weeks off the drugs. This is what I need he told me a chance to get off this shit and get back on track.  I felt bad that he was going to be inside for Christmas..  But didn’t feel bad that he was going to jail. I still felt he had to know that he couldn’t treat me like that. That it was his behaviour that put him in jail not me.

I don’t know and probably never will know whether he planned this if he was that forward thinking, not about getting off the drugs but what happened next. Whether because I sent him to jail ( in his eyes ) he wanted to get his own back. I would like to think not but of course I can’t see into his mind but that reader is my next blog.