2015

Well the New Years begun may you all get what you wish for be that recovery rehab detox…or just a peaceful life in the knowledge you have made the right decisions and have a great future in front of you. My 3rd new year with the man I love, I hope for a 4th, but I can’t live with addiction. I have held out to get thro this holiday period because I have love and compassion.
I have recently be called a victim!?! I think by someone that is reading this but I can’t be sure. That I want to be a victim. In the past yes maybe I did want the sympathy vote, but that is not at all what this blog is about, so if you are reading this, take note, I am not a victim now, I make my choices now with the full understanding of the consequences, I try to walk away to get out but you make it too difficult, because it’s easier than fighting, however I have my programme and that will keep me sane. If I relapse I can start again, if I enable, give in to the demands I can start again tomorrow. I have faith that it will stop. That he wants to stop, even tho I know the more he doesn’t stop the harder it will become. And that my friends is why I have to stop. Eventually I will get back to my story of why I am here now, but for now it’s what I am fighting with now.
Keep me in your prayers and send me PMA!
Happy new year and thank you again for your support x

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2 thoughts on “2015

  1. That’s good. You are NOT a victim. I appreciate your honesty and your resolve and resiliency. You are a very strong person and you know what you want. I am sorry I haven’t been keeping up with my reading lately the new year has brought some new responsibility and I need to adjust. I wish you all the best and my prayers go out to you. Have a very happy, healthy, safe and prosperous New Year.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you my friend and i too have fallen behind in my reading! Yes i am
    Told i am strong, but in the face to face confrontation of my journey i sometimes relapse and end up enabling! It is easier than screaming and shouting over ¬£20! When i have distance i can do it but when we are together its not easy. I think my illness in someways is as hard as addiction is for a drug user. Thats why i sometimes use the term addict when talking about myself. We know the madness of the first drink the first hit the first bet the first ‘borrow of money’ ( my illness) enabling is as hard to refuse as any addiction wanting to make someone you love happy even tho you know its wrong. When i am in it i cant say no easily ūüė¶

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