Today I am apprehensive. Today I go and see K in prison. I have been to prisons before through work, so the system won’t be new to me, but it’s how I am going to be perceived I guess is what is worrying me more. I don’t feel 100% I have a bad cold I didn’t sleep too well, because of the cold but also dreaming about K. He is as much on my mind now as when we were a couple. Today will be hard for him too. They might have stopped his methadone today, if so he will be ill. We both have so much to discuss, it’s going to be a tough day. How can I commit to anything how can he? So just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. Just for today I will be happy. Just for today I will be agreeable.
Easy words to follow? Not for me, but I will try, that’s all I can do.