so I believed the lies wanting to believe that he wanted to get off the gear and somehow we would live happily ever after. After Christmas time some one he knew moved into the house, he was a nice enough guy but a user too 😔. Of course all my worst fears became true they spent all day together, and each other’s money. I started to feel a bit aggrieved as I was certain that his friend was getting the benefit of my money but also knew that K was a bit selfish when it came to his fix so probably wasnt sharing, but even so was suspicious that his increased use might be to his mates benefit! The woman that owned the house had a string of houses and flats and some how they managed to talk her into giving them a job, cleaning the houses she owned. They were both very good cleaners, to be fair, and it gave them something to do. Cash in hand they spent it on drugs of course, it gave me a bit of a break but not much, they were borrowing on work they hadn’t done yet, and in the end she stopped using them. I think they owed more than they could sensibly work for. K said it was his mates fault that he had been borrowing money and not turning up, but quite often we would go to the housing office, he would borrow some money and then go score. He should have started work at 10 but often it was more like 11 by the time we had met the dealer and he had used. He had no idea of time when he was in that state. 5 minutes was often an hour, a can you just take me on your way to work left me running late. But it became my normality, so I adjusted my self to make sure I wasn’t late. If I had a 10am start I would say I had to be there for 9.30 so I wasn’t to having to run around after dealers first thing in the morning. His mate was full of ways of making money, good to his word and my money K wasn’t grafting to get cash didn’t need to he had my money! But his mate was into all sorts! One day I got a phone call, when you getting back? Don’t know love about and hour or so…. Good we have to go the scrappy’s……??? Why? Oh C has got some scrap its ok we can cash it in…but we need a car to get it there. Ok. Hey don’t worry love it’s fine we got it from a job we were doing for ( the land lady) we were cleaning out an old house she is going to get done up. So home I come and the car is loaded up with a load of scrap metal. Well when I say scrap I mean lead! It later transpires it’s been robbed from a roof. But not til we drive to the scrappy’s and get it weighed in. Times have changed now and you need bank account details car registration plates are noted, so they come out and ask if they can have the money paid into my account. I wasn’t happy cos in the back of my mind was if this lead is stolen ( I’m not that daft I had assumed it was once I was told that’s what it was) I didn’t want cheques from a scrappy paid into my account. I said I didnt think its a good idea, I am too overdrawn I might not be able to get the money out. There was a bit of an argument about it but I said no cos if I pay it in we won’t be able to get it out for at least 5 days. So they got a cheque and we then had to go to town to get it cashed at one of them we cash cheques places. I was worried cos there had been cameras all over the place at the scrappy’s and I knew with the new regs if the lead was proved as stolen I was the link to it….of course nothing did happen but I said to K I didn’t want to go there again. So once they had the cash there were a few phone calls and off we went to score! K went to do the deal, when he was buying for others he always got the money from them and did the deal. I don’t know if he was taking from the others bag or not but it wouldn’t have surprised me. There was always deals on 3 for 2 so I am guessing he used that to his advantage. yes you even get deals on drugs lol! 😄 I only know that because my phone was used so often I got the txt messages saying when they were on and what ‘offers’ they were doing. So 3 for 2 was a regular offer. When K went off C and I started chatting. He’s lucky to have you’re says. Mmmm maybe I don’t feel lucky tho, you have to remember when we met he wasnt using this isn’t wasn’t what I was expecting when we got together. If you had said a year ago I would be with a bag head I would have told you you were crazy! Youre a nice woman, I hope he appreciates you. Yeah me too! He comes back, let’s go he says. As we approach the house the seat belt comes off as I am pulling up the door is open and out he jumps……fuck he’s ruthless says C. Yeah he is isn’t he! I say, but have seen this behaviour so many times before I don’t even give it a second thought. But here I was with another addict that thought his behaviour was ‘ruthless’ desperate or any other word you want to give it. And once again my reality is brought back to me.