The next couple of weeks I recieved a few text, and replied, but having sobered up I knew L was too young for me. Then came the phone call! It was L to start with but later he asked if I wanted to speak with K? Did I??? We exchanges pleasantries why was my heart racing? Why did I feel 15? Why was I struggling to put a sentence together? What the hell was going on here?
A few days later he called me himself, don’t tell Lee he said, ok but didn’t know what the problem would be L knowing, but agreed not to tell him. A few more text then he asked if I would meet him? Yes I would love too, I knew I had fallen for this man that I only had a vague memory of what he even looked like, but how had this happened? Why on earth could I have fallen for someone over a few txt and a brief couple of phone calls but I had never been so nervous about meeting someone!
He wasnt really suppose to meet anyone he said. So i tried to put myself in check and tell myself not to read too much into this. He was coming to the end of his rehab, he was probably just expanding his social network wantin, g to meet people outside of rehab. Besides what would he want with me? I was a few years older than him, a middle aged woman, that didn’t do much apart from work and hang out with friends at the weekend! He was into sports and I did go to the gym to try to keep fit and also did a couple of fitness classes a week but didn’t actually do much with my life. But from what I could re beer of him he was well fit and was interested in meeting me! OMG time to have a word with myself! This wasn’t anything this was just someone wanting to make friends out side of rehab, why was I so excited then?
The next couple of days really dragged I had arranged to meet him in town in the afternoon, what would I wear where would we go what would we do??? I was already projecting! A fault that would become more apparent on our journey and would end up giving me too much pain. Live for now….it’s so much easier!